The Lost (Love) Letter

Nobody has fathomed love as it strikes at everyone’s hearts. They just have to give into it. That’s my case. ..

One reaches his or her full maturity when s/he is able to smile or laugh about the past.  And that includes writing and receiving silly love letters.  Days ago, out of sheer ennui, I rummaged through my old stuff when I found a small white envelope slipped under my diary. I discovered it was a letter, an unsent love letter, to be specific, which I was about to give to my bestfriend ten years ago.  I couldn’t help but smile as I try to read with my eyes every line in that letter.  I just couldn’t believe myself to have textually blurting out those words.  Nostalgia encumbered me in a good way.  Suddenly, I remember the girl being addressed on that love letter.  Yeah, as the song says, “I remember the [girl], but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.”  As proof that I have already moved on and adhering to the goal of my blog, that is to CONFESS, I wanna publicize the content. Just screw me for being pathetic.  Here it is:

Jhane,

You’re right.  Nobody’s to blame for what’s going on between us, and for what our friendship has lead us.  But it won’t stop me from saying how much you mean to me, how you altered my life and everything.  I guess this isn’t a wrong timing, huh?

I know how awkward it is to have me as your “more-than-a-friend” friend.  Unexpected as we both said.  Nobody  has fathomed love as it strikes at everyone’s hearts.  They just have to give into it.  That’s my case.  I never cared how much it would hurt me as long as I give.  I may sound too pathetic here, but that’s the truth.  As I was holding the card you gave me last Christmas, I knew it wasn’t good, so I prepared myself.  The truth hurts but I have to accept it.  I just didn’t know how to respond.

I’m sorry I cannot go back to what we were before.  Everything’s spilled out already and no matter how we avoid it, whether or not, it’s going to haunt both of us.  We’ve been there for years; I guess what we’ve been sowing has already sprouted and grown into something deeper and meaningful.  It’s up to us how we are going to reap it.  You already gave the answer.  Me?  I will remain steadfast.  I won’t insist or force you to reciprocate my feelings ‘coz I’m not the cliché type.  I’m just your bestfriend.  The assurance that we will always be there for each other and with hope that I would never lose you – these are enough reasons why I should be grateful and content for having the most special, smart, and beautiful girl-friend in the whole world.

I wish you well.

 Always,

Micki

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