201st Post!: Finding a Reason to Blog

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Marcel and I during our ocular survey for our MPG flash poetry reading

Last April 4, my blog turned one year old.  If you try to read the posts you might notice that I have been writing sundry topics or issues that are somehow reflective of my interests.  Mostly, I write about my experiences on teaching, my love for music, musicals, and entertainment.  Sometimes, when laziness encumbers my desire to write, I just scour some sayings and post them as Quote of the Day.  When my Muse takes hold of my fingers and my elan to tackle relevant matters from my personal life, I become inspired to write longer posts.  In short, my blog, in adhering to the title itself, is my own way of disclosing myself to the world.  I write anything under the sun…well, except politics.

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My co-teachers/friends gather every month to expunge our stresses through a night of music: Videoke!

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My Lit student Edward (standing), Rome and Marcel: poets of the Mirror Poetry Guild

My blog is like a stream that meanders until it reaches the sea.  There’s nothing really specific about my blog unlike those who focus on food, travel, music, business, etc. I choose to write for a cause.

These past few weeks, I have been posting about homophobia and bullying.  It all started with a video by a Broadway actor Matt Doyle titled “It Gets Better” that really inspired me a lot to “confess” about my own experience as a bullied kid.  I never thought that I could actually disclose a part of myself by blogging about that horrible childhood experience.  And little do I know, it is actually self-liberating! It purges out something that has been kept within me for a long time.  And channeling that suppression into words unravels the hazy truth about myself.  And to think that someone out there might learn from my experience is something that I consider life-changing.  And I guess it never ends there.  I want to write more.  I want to inspire kids who have undergone the same experience as I have when I was a child.  That, like Matt Doyle and other people who thrust toward change, there is always hope that life will get better.  Finding that spark of hope through arts is what I want people to know.  That’s why, I post topics about it: poetry, writing, music, visual arts.  Because art is the only way that we can express ourselves more.  It is a venue where we can be who we are.  I have found acceptance through the arts.  When I decided to become a writer, I committed myself to journey into uncertainties.  I have accepted that I’d be trudging through the path of loneliness, which I actually did.  I wrote poems and stories for myself and found no community to read my works.  I kept them for myself and literally shelved them and hopelessly reckoned no one would ever read my works.  I tell my life story through the literary works I write.  I weave metaphors to somehow conceal a tinge of truth about my experiences.  People would think of me as aloof, weird, and worse, queer.  I was misconstrued and it got the better of me.  I succumbed to the thought that writing is for queer people.  But then, these “queer” people made me believe in myself.  Just like what Britanny in Glee said, these people accepted this kid “when the orphanage was closed”.  And I finally accepted the fact that these people, who have their own share of stories like me, can be my own sanctuary at times when I feel like I don’t belong.

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So, as my 201st blog entry, I wanna dedicate this post to those who are still finding their voice, to those who feel like they are not accepted because of what they are and how they are perceived.  I have finally found a reason to blog.  And my cause? That people, in those darkest moments of their lives, may find inspiration and hope that through writing, will find that life gets…and will always get better.

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