After all, I have never known courtship other than what I see in romantic films. Or in horror films. Sometimes, it results in glory, but most often, it ends in tragedy. A real horrific tragedy, to be redundant about it. I just don’t get the idea why it is so. The uncertainty, that is. I mean, why do people have to push effort in carving their initials in the bark of the trees or profess their love at the balcony? it’s just so, uhm…puerile.
So, I almost loathe courtship. Just because I find it immature, and nonsense, and haughty, and vain, and… whatever. i just hate it. Or perhaps, I have never known courtship at all. because I have never done so myself. Nah. You really wanna know a secret? I am a dork.
We Filipinos call it torpe. You know, a guy who shies away when he approaches a girl, arm-sideward-grace away? But let’s not associate torpe with its Spanish definition: stupid. Torpes are not stupid. They just appear like one. They may cower, but they do not surrender. Or so I believe.
Where are we? Oh, yes. I am a dork. That’s as close as I can get in defining the term. Sheepish! Yes. A sheepish dork. Sounds like a nursery rhyme, eh? Anyway, you might think that writing love letters can win every girl’s heart, but it just doesn’t. Get it? The last time I wrote a love letter, well, not exactly a love letter. More of a letter of apology I think (but I forgot what that apology was for). It made its tour in the trash can. And so I made a vow not to write love letters anymore. Yes. Not all girls love love letters. And I don’t write love letters. Not ever.
And so I have come to this. Out of the blue. No. I mean, I never thought that I once again, expunge this whatever it is in me. I just can’t find a reason why I get to smile whenever I think about that person. That sending love letter has never become a part of my master plan. I found another means. I hope this art doodles its way to her heart.
Only then, will I know what courtship really means. And eventually…Love. Or else, it will just be another horrific scene from a horror movie.