The Tale of a Sheepish Dork Called Torpe

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After all, I have never known courtship other than what I see in romantic films.  Or in horror films.  Sometimes, it results in glory, but most often, it ends in tragedy. A real horrific tragedy, to be redundant about it.  I just don’t get the idea why it is so.  The uncertainty, that is.  I mean, why do people have to push effort in carving their initials in the bark of the trees or profess their love at the balcony?  it’s just so, uhm…puerile.

So, I almost loathe courtship. Just because I find it immature, and nonsense, and haughty, and vain, and… whatever.  i just hate it.  Or perhaps, I have never known courtship at all.  because I have never done so myself. Nah. You really wanna know a secret?  I am a dork.

We Filipinos call it torpe. You know, a guy who shies away when he approaches a girl, arm-sideward-grace away?  But let’s not associate torpe with its Spanish definition: stupid.  Torpes are not stupid. They just appear like one.  They may cower, but they do not surrender.  Or so I believe.

Where are we? Oh, yes.  I am a dork.  That’s as close as I can get in defining the term.  Sheepish! Yes.  A sheepish dork. Sounds like a nursery rhyme, eh?  Anyway, you might think that writing love letters can win every girl’s heart, but it just doesn’t.  Get it?  The last time I wrote a love letter, well, not exactly a love letter. More of a letter of apology I think (but I forgot what that apology was for).  It made its tour in the trash can.  And so I made a vow not to write love letters anymore.  Yes.  Not all girls love love letters.  And I don’t write love letters.  Not ever.

And so I have come to this. Out of the blue.  No.  I mean, I never thought that I once again, expunge this whatever it is in me.  I just can’t find a reason why I get to smile whenever I think about that person.  That sending love letter has never become a part of my master plan.  I found another means. I hope this art doodles its way to her heart.

Only then, will I know what courtship really means.  And eventually…Love.  Or else, it will just be another horrific scene from a horror movie.

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