I’d like to believe that teachers have double mien. Or at least, if I look at myself, both as an ordinary person and as a teacher, I just couldn’t fathom and even reconcile these dual role that I’ve been playing since I graduated from college. Me, a teacher? Well, at some point, I envisioned myself as a teacher especially that, when I was a kid, I would gather children who live in the apartment and teach them the alphabet and all sorts of stuff. Yeah, sure. I spent my money buying notebooks and I would always coax my mom to buy me a small blackboard. But that was just a phase all rubbed out by numerous dreams I aspired while growing up.
I already blogged the reasons why I don’t want to be a teacher (click here for the full entry), and yet, it seems that fate prodded me to immerse myself in this so-called noble profession. And indeed, it is. Teaching is a noble profession. Not to mention: performatory.
Teaching pushes myself to the limits. It makes me discover dispositions I didn’t know I possess. At home, I’m the one who could barely speak, you know, always the shy-type guy. However, when I enter the classroom, it seems that I’m being transformed into a kind of an actor. As a person, you might find me uninteresting, always bury his nose in the books or his laptop. I am an aloof person to begin with. That’s why, I’ve always considered myself a wallflower. Anti-social. Yet, life has its oxymoronic (if there is such a term) ways that let you defy certain roles, not because it’s a choice, but because it’s something that comes natural to you.
I won’t question my role, my dual role, that is. Even though at times I find it surprising that I am able to crack jokes or laugh with my students which I seldom do in ordinary days. But I guess, that’s just who I am. The classroom is my oyster, so to speak. Or a stage where I can perform. As what Shakepeare said, “All the world’s a stage,/ and all the men and women merely players/They have their exits and their entrances/and one man in his time plays many parts.
Teachers have dual mien. As they enter the classroom, the become performers. As they egress, they leave marks, before they change into ordinary people once again.