Let me tell you about what happened in January. My life fucked up (for the lack of a decent term)…a little. No matter how I kept things under control, it seemed that every action, every decision I made was hanging by the thread. As if an invisible entity was trying to manipulate me and making sure that I miserably wade through the puddle. And I couldn’t do anything to revert such situation. It sucks, right?
What to blame? Mercury retrograde. I realized too late that I’ve been had by this phenomenon again. You know, when this planet “seems” to be moving backwards in the sky for like 3 weeks. Astrology tells that once this happens, certain aspects of our lives are affected, especially communication and decision-making. Not that this is the first time I experienced the lash of the retrograde, coz the phenom took me under its spell the last quarter of 2014. That time, I had a rift with someone for some unknown reason. Out of the blue, a surge of bitchiness took hold of me. Our exchange of text messages was like World War 3. Then we never talked for a long time, until the retrograde passed, of course. How amazing was that? Voila, everything went back to normal, but unfortunately and eventually that someone and I parted ways. For good.
Fast forward over a year later. January 2016. History repeated itself. Mercury retrograde happened. Nobody poked me until I read it from a Twitter post of a spoken word artist. And I was like, WTF, is it happening again? Thanks to Google, everything made sense…kinda.
OK. I was supposed to work on a translation project for an organization. Believe me, I was quite excited about this one because aside from it’s a Kinaray-a translation, I’d get to earn extra dough. Which I really really need. I knew it was a hasty decision to say YES. I didn’t know why, but as soon as I open the files, I got cold feet. At least I started transcribing and back-translating some interviews. But I couldn’t get myself to work without feeling distracted. I perpetually asked myself, “what the hell is wrong with me?” I knew I wasn’t lazy. For one, I love the task. Then, I need the money ( for a Les Mis ticket). To make the long story short, I failed and felt awful because I let some people down. Even worse, I tried to escape from that retribution which I knew has consequences. I had trouble sleeping and it seemed that the universe is punishing me. A tinge of happiness is nowhere in sight. I turned against the heavens and cursed God. For two weeks or so, I lived in a Les Miserables world. And all I could do was to wait until the Mercury retrograde passed. And it did! Just when I thought this nightmare would haunt me for a long time, but just like any phenomenon or the dark night of the soul, Mercury retrograde comes and goes.
I ask, do we really have control over our lives no matter how we believe that there are forces in this universe that impede us to make decisions? Yes, probably. Strange as it seems, there are circumstances, really, that are way out of our control. Indeed, it happens. I know, many do not believe in Mercury retrograde or astrology in general because it contradicts their religious beliefs. Personally, though, I need to keep an open mind in order to understand that certain phenomena can also affect our beings.
Some fucked up events in our lives are not heaven-delivered. So don’t blame God. Blame Mercury retrograde.