It wasn’t an overnight decision. It wasn’t a consideration that’s completely out of the blue. It has been crossing my mind for a long time. I guess, everything is all about proper timing.
Yes. I am coming home. For good.
You know the feeling when you wake up from this strange dream and you suddenly realized that you’ve been encumbered by sundry emotions and the only choice is to wake up? Not that you’re having a nightmare, but having the wisdom to realize that the essential things in life are not found in the urban jungle called Manila. But for the record, I have no regrets. Manila has taught me a lot of lessons and discoveries about myself. Those two years have been, cliche as it is, a roller coaster ride. I enjoyed it. Totally.
I could cite instances and circumstances that somehow made me who I really am. Imagine St. Augustine’s life at Carthage (forgive me for the comparison, but yeah, it’s in Manila that I experienced a lot of firsts and not-so-firsts–experiments and exploits and all). I loved my jobs. Despite the stumbles here and there, I somehow learned from what Manila offered me. These made my decision more difficult. But I knew I had to make a choice. A choice I have to make sooner than I expected.
I am thankful for the opportunities. I consider myself lucky because it’s easy for me to land a job that helped me survive (eww, I sound like a gasbag). Maybe because I’ve always been an optimistic prick who never expects a lot. So there, the confusion arises from choosing between two opportunities. Should I stay or should I leave?
Weighing up the pros and cons between staying and leaving, it seemed that the decision to leave leads the race. The sacrifices that I have to make are so minimal. Of course, I’m gonna miss my friends, my “gig” at the Broadway open mic, my visits at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, etc. On the good side, I’m gonna leave behind my struggles of traveling and beating the traffic every day.
I choose to return home. The home that I always long for in my almost two years of exile.
I’d like to think that I’m the prodigal son who wanders and struggles until he realizes that there is only one thing he needs to do: